Questions 11 & 12

11. How do you perceive yourself, your gifts, your motives, your role, and your commitment as a probationary member and commissioned minister in The United Methodist Church?
I see myself first and foremost as a servant to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Being a servant for Christ keeps me focused on actively following God who has called me. My hope is that I am bringing honor and glory to Jesus Christ rather than to myself or the church I am serving.
My motive to be in ministry is to help others experience God’s love for themselves and always point them towards God. I could not be in ministry if it were not for what God is doing through me. The only gain that I want to receive out of being in ministry is to see myself continue to grow in my faith and to watch others discover their relationship with God and to continue to mature in that faith.
Anything that I could do to share Christ’s love with others is most definitely Christ working through me and through my weaknesses so I can say like Paul, “I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”[1]
At times, I wrestle with my sense of security and wonder about my ability to fulfill the task that God has placed before me. However, during the past couple of years as I waited to come before P & Q, I have felt God’s hand giving me strength to accomplish the task of becoming a Probationary and Commissioned member of the Annual Conference.
Even though I wrestle with a sense of security, my commitment is strong because I know, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”[2] The process of ordained ministry has at times been hard, but I know that it has also strengthened me because I have had the opportunity to see God work in wonderful and miraculous ways in my life.
I have seen God strengthen and use me during a twenty-four hour stretch with a youth who was facing jail because of false accusation. I have seen God strengthen and use me when a mother of a youth member called me panicked because her father-in-law has disappeared and no one knew where he was.
Through these difficult times of ministry, God has shown me that one of my strongest gifts in ministry, is that I care for God’s children and that I am able to listen without being judgmental and bring a sense of calm to a situation. My prayer is that as I continue in ministry, I will be able to rely on the council that God gives me in order to fulfill the call God has on my life.


12. Describe your understanding of diakonia, the servant ministry of the church, and the servant ministry of the probationary member and commissioned minister.
The term diakonia points to what Jesus was telling his disciples in Matthew 20. When questioned about leadership and the role of authority, Jesus tells his disciples,
You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.[3]

All members of the church are commissioned at their baptism to be in ministry within the local church and in the world. At our baptism, we are given the task to be the diakonia of the church.[4]
As a probationary member and commissioned minister of the church, I am to place myself under the authority of Christ who gave us the example of serving others instead of trying to bring recognition to himself. Through all that I do, I am to show the example of service for those in my congregation.
On one level, it could be making pastoral visits to the congregation, teaching classes, and making myself available to the congregation in times of need. Another level is recognizing that while in service to the congregation, I will be teaching and equipping the congregation to be in service ministry to each other and the world.
I was talking to my son about the possibility of him becoming a junior counselor at Junior High Camp this upcoming summer. During our discussion, he talked about how great it would be to boss around the other campers, be able to do things first, have the best bed in the cabin and all of the benefits he perceived he would have as a junior counselor.
I reminded him that the purpose of being a junior counselor was to make sure the campers were having a great camping experience. I told him that the leadership of the junior counselor was to show what it means to truly serve Christ and allow others to experience that diakonia and want to then go out and serve others.
[1] 2 Corinthians 12:9b - 10
[2] Philippians 4:13 NRSV
[3] Matthew 20:25 – 29 NRSV
[4] BOD ¶305 pg. 197 - 98